[JFCC] PRESS RELEASE: NEW HEADMASTER AT HOGWARTS

By Barnabas Cuffe

In a shocking turn of events, Dolores Umbridge, appointed headmistress at Hogwarts, has been exposed as a Polyjuiced Rubeus Hagrid, the school’s Gamekeeper and one time Care of Magical Creatures professor. Not only that Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress is also missing in action. The Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge has expressed deep concern for the wellbeing of his Senior Undersecretary and wishes for her quick return to Hogwarts and the Ministry. In the mean time, the Ministry has decided to appoint Severus Snape as headmaster of Hogwarts of Witchcraft and Wizardry."